The only way forward is through.
This time of year, we begin to see and feel the changes in the seasons. My husband loves to point out the first signs of fall as he notices the leaves on the trees changing from green to yellow, orange, and red. When he does, I always ask him to stop pointing them out (with slight irritation). I feel my inner resistance to the inevitable change of seasons. I don’t want to see it or acknowledge that the summer is ending. I want summer to last as long as possible.
August is a time of transition and change. Long, hot summer days slowly shift to the cooler, shorter days of fall. Children head back to school, and fall schedules begin. As we transition into another season, it is normal to feel many different emotions.
As I drive my youngest child back to college this weekend, I feel those same feelings of wanting to slow down time, not wanting to let go, and, at the same time, a deep knowing that this is exactly the way life is meant to unfold. And I am lucky to be here to witness it all.
I am reminded that there are two ways to go through life, just like the two ways of riding a roller coaster. One is to grip the bar in front of you tightly; eyes squeezed shut, body tense and tight, bracing yourself for whatever is to come, continually fearing the next stomach-wrenching drop, hating the ride, and counting the minutes until it is over. Or you can relax your grip, open your eyes, breathe deeply, and maybe even take your hands off the bar, raise them high in the air, and enjoy the wild ride you are on.
Mindfulness has helped me realize that if I loosen my grip, stop trying to control or manage life, worry less about what will be, and be more present for what it is, I can learn to flow with all of life’s inevitable changes instead of resisting them. If I accept change as an inevitable part of life and embrace all my emotions, I can enjoy life with greater ease, peace, and presence. I can see life’s inevitable twists and turns as one great adventure I am lucky to be on.
As many great wisdom teachers have taught, the only way forward is through. Our feelings are meant to be felt and hold valuable information. They are not who we are, but simply what we feel. They rise and fall in our internal experience. They are not bigger than us and will not overwhelm us if we create enough space, openness, and acceptance to allow them all to be felt and move through us.
Acceptance of change and impermanence can feel scary. It can also be liberating. We can feel the sadness and fear AND awaken to the fragility and precociousness of life. We can learn from our emotions to savor more moments as they come and go without clinging too tightly to some idea of what should be. We can let go of our resistance, relax, and feel it all. We know that we cannot have pleasure without pain. We cannot experience love without loss. Our big, beautiful hearts allow us to feel it all. And we wouldn’t want it any other way.
❤️,
Cheryl