“Our hearts break, but our hearts also heal. The thread that pulls us from heartbreak to healing is love.”
– Judy Lief
I recently lost a dear and beautiful friend – much too soon. The ache in my heart for her family, her friends, and myself is deeply felt. Many think that practicing mindfulness will take away the pain of life. It does not. Grief and loss are deeply felt and part of our human experience. What can bring us greater ease and peace in the midst of pain is letting go of our resistance to it.We can learn to see and accept the truth of our human experience – that life is constantly changing and that with life comes death. We can learn to hold ourselves and each other gently and lovingly in the midst of our pain. We can open to whatever we are feeling with compassion and love as these feelings wash over us and move through us like waves.
One of my teachers once said that the reason we feel the deep pain of grief is because we loved so deeply. We would not feel such loss if we were not touched so deeply by love. So, in the midst of loss and grief, it helps to be deeply grateful for the love we have been able to share and honor our big, beautiful hearts that are capable of loving so deeply.
There is no one right way to grieve and there is no easy way through it. We can learn to let the waves of grief, loss, heartbreak and longing roll through us. And in our grief, we can remember how lucky we are to have had someone in our lives who touched us so deeply and who we loved so much. They are not lost but, instead, will always be a part of who we are. Finally, we can look for the “ANDs” of life – the beauty, the love, the joy, the simple pleasures, the connection, the friendships – that can help us hold all the rest.
Whether you are grieving the loss of a friend or feeling the suffering in the world today, you can learn to hold your pain with love, recognizing both the fragility of life and its beauty. In times like these, we are reminded of the importance of living fully, being present for it all, and prioritizing what is most important to us.
– L.R. Knost
with much love for my dear and beautiful friend